Sunday, September 30, 2007

Essay 4528


Passing judgments in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas rips sexual-harassment accuser Anita Hill in his new autobiography, labeling her a mediocre employee and political pawn. Thomas goes on to call the infamous nationally televised hearings a “high-tech lynching” orchestrated “not by bigots in white robes but by left-wing zealots draped in flowing sanctimony.” According to Thomas, his adversaries employed “the age-old blunt instrument of accusing a black man of sexual misconduct.” Glad to see he’s been able to move on from the incidents of the past. Yo, Clarence, chill out with a pubic-hair-covered can of Coke.

• Prosecutors and lawyers for O.J. Simpson are scheduled to meet with a judge on Monday to arrange a preliminary hearing for the accused men. However, a preliminary hearing may not be held, as prosecutors are weighing the possibility of conducting a secret grand jury hearing to decide if there’s enough evidence to send things to District Court. Everyone is also probably trying to determine the best course of action to maximize CourtTV appearances.

• Jackie Chan proclaimed that he’s not a big fan of his Rush Hour movies. “When we finished filming [Rush Hour 1], I felt very disappointed because it was a movie I didn’t appreciate and I did not like the action scenes involved. I felt the style of action was too Americanized and I didn’t understand the American humor,” wrote Chan in a blog. “Nothing particularly exciting stood out that made [Rush Hour 3] special for me … I spent four months making this film and I still don’t fully understand the humor.” Chan admitted that he agreed to make the sequels after being offered an “irresistible” amount of loot. Guess he understands that American tradition just fine.

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